In happiness and pain
by LadyBird
Summary: The war is finally over. It is time to celebrate ...and mourn. Sequel to I call for you


Disclaimer: All the characters used in this story are the sole property of J.K Rowling (and some other big company whose name I do not remember. Sorry, no insults intended, just my bad memory). They are not mine. I take credit for the characters' actions and thoughts in this story, though (often used as they are).

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A/N: I thank all the rewivers and I promise – they will get together. In the next story. Sorry.

This fic is third part of series featuring Harry Potter and Severus Snape. It has mentions of homosexuality (brief though, nobody does anything). 

This story is sequel to **"I call for you"** (which is sequel to **"By your name"**). There is a sidefic **"All the tears"** from Molly Weasleys pov that goes between "By your name" and "I call for you". 

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In happiness and pain

In the beginning there was darkness. Then the pain came. It filled his whole being. Suddenly there was comforting whisper and something cool was poured down his throat. He swallowed reflexively – the taste was familiar – they had made that potion in class. Potion… The voice was familiar, too. 

__

Severus. Severus is here. It means he's all right. Everything's all right.

And he let himself fall back into darkness.

The next time he woke up there was no pain. He lay quietly in his bed, listening to his body. Nothing seemed to be out of order. 

__

Well, it's time to wake up I guess. 

Harry opened his eyes. Infirmary. Again. Then he remembered. 

The battle. People dying all around him, hearing Draco's screams, seeing Ron fall, Voldemort… 

__

Oh, I was lucky again. By all odds I should be dead. I'm quite sure Voldemort is. I expected to die too. Good I'm no Seer.

"Harry?"

Ron's voice.

__

Thank god he's alive. 

Rustle of sheets, steps.

"Harry."

Strong fingers clasped his hand gently.

"You're awake."

Harry turned his head to face his best friend. Half of Ron's face was covered in bandages. He probably had other injuries not visible under his pj-s. But he was alive.

Suddenly the hands around his tightened almost painfully.

"We thought you were dead. Everything was burnt and there was no sight of you, we thought..."

Ron swallowed and looked away.

"We almost gave up. If Snape hadn't been so damned stubborn… You were almost gone when he found you."

Silence.

Then Ron turned back to him with a smile on his face.

"You know, madam Pomfrey had a pair of infirmary pj-s with your initials."

Now Harry felt he was up to answer.

"Yeah, she had them made in sixth year after that quidditch game with Ravenclaw. Said I could very well have a pair for my own, seeing as I spent more time in here than in the dorms."

Ron laughed at Harry's words. It was good to hear Ron laugh, it hadn't happened in long time. They'd had very few reasons to laugh lately. 

Suddenly Ron became serious. He studied Harry's face for long moments.

"You killed him, you know? It's over, you killed Voldemort."

He said the name firmly, without stumbling. That made Harry finally believe. He waited for the feeling of triumf, of joy and victory – but there was nothing. 

He felt very tired suddenly. Too many had died. Far too many.

Then he remembered something.

"Ron, in the battle, I heard Draco. Is he…" 

He didn't have a chance to finish his question. 

The door was aruptly pulled open.

"Harry!"

Hermione rushed to his bedside.

"Harry, you are awake. I was so worried…"

Then her gaze fell on Ron. Harry guessed she had only now noticed he was there.

"Ronald Weasley! I thought I had made it crystal clear you were not to leave your bed until madam Pomfrey agreed to let you out. Can't you for a moment…"

"'Mione…"

Ron's voice was pleading.

"Harry woke up and I got out just for a moment to see him, I'm going straight back…"

Low chuckle interrupted his hasty explanations.

"Ron, do you and Harry have something to tell us?" 

Only now did Harry notice Bill who had come to the infirmary with Hermione and was watching them with laughter in his eyes.

"What do you mean Bill – something to tell?"

Bill's eyes fell lower, making his point. Harry followed his gaze. To his hand Ron was still holding. A moment later it occurred to Ron. Harry's hand was released quickly.

"Bill! You know that's not it! You don't believe it, 'Mione, do you?" 

Harry made a pouty face and sighed tragically:

"Ron, how can you say so? Are you really going to abandon me after all we have gone through together?" 

"Harry!"

Ron's protest was drowned in Bill and Hermione's laughter.

"Oh Ron, I really do love you."

Hermione wiped her eyes, then caught Ron's shoulder and kissed him over Harry's bed.

"Oh, folks? I enjoy the show, of course, but don't you want to go somewhere more private for that?"

Harry had nothing against his best friends' being in love, but really… 

Bill shook his head.

"Harry, Harry. Just because you can't get any is not the reason to ruin other people's fun."

His words brought on another uncontrollable burst of laughter. Hermione was forced to release Ron. 

Harry cluched at his side. He'd lauged so hard it almost felt painful. He looked around at his friends' smiling faces. They seemed so young and happy.

They were happy, they were all happy and relieved. To be alive. Harry suddenly felt giddy. They had really done it! They had defeated Voldemort and survived. Not many had believed it could be done, but they had proved those sceptics wrong. They had survived!

And then he felt arupt chill. But not all, not all had… 

"Hermione? Hermione!" 

She looked at him, surprised by the urgency in his voice.

"Hermione, what about Draco? I think I heard him screaming, but I had just located Voldemort and couldn't spare the time…"

If Draco had died because Harry was too caught up in his venegance… 

Hermione's expression turned serious.

"He is… Well, he's not okay, but he will be. They had to transfer him to St.Mungo's after giving first aid. They didn't have means to treat him here – many were transferred for that reason. But madame Pomfrey is sure he will recover copletely. Your mother does good work, Ron."

She smiled proudly at her fiancé.

"Well, he's family, too. Although I still can't imagine what Ginny finds in him."

Ron hadn't still quite come to terms with his bitterest enemy turning out to be future brother in law. 

"Well, Ron, if you could imagine that, I should probably be worried."

Hermione's voice was teasing.

"'Mione! I wish you would stop it! I was just happy to see Harry alive."

Ron was getting really annoyed.

"Ginny went with Draco. She hasn't left his side since the end of the battle," Bill informed Harry.

"Mum went with her too, after professor Snape told her you were out of danger. She'll look in to Percy as well."

Something akin to respect showed in his eyes.

"The man really knows his stuff. He saved your life, you know? He found you and brought you to the infirmary. And then he found the potions that helped you. Madame Pomfrey said you were too far gone, for her to help you. She doesn't know how he brought you back. Says Snape was probably just so stubborn Fates finally gave up and sent you back."

Harry felt warm glow spreading through him. Severus had cared. Had cared enough to search for him, cared enough to not to give up when there seemed to be no hope. That had to mean something, didn't it? He would think about it later.

"I have to thank him. Again. It seems he has made a career out of saving my life against impossible odds."

"Professor Snape would not have to if you, young man, would not be careless enough to get into situations where your life has to be saved."

Madame Pomfrey entered the room carring a tray full of bandages and other medical supplies. 

"Now, Mr.Weasley, you were ordered to stay in bed, were you not? No matter, go sit down, it is time to take those bandages away. You should be healed enough."

She put the tray on the table next to Ron's bed as Ron obeyed her. 

"Hold still."

She started to unwrap the bandages carefully.

"You were very lucky, Mr.Weasley. A bit more and you would have lost the eye. Scars will fade in time, but there is no way to grow a new eye. Nerve tissue can not be regrown."

Harry had a feeling she was talking to distract Ron. It seemed to be working, too. Ron relaxed visibly.

"Very well, let me see now…"

She took a step back and admired her handiwork.

Ron might not have been nervous anymore, but Harry, Hermione and Bill certainly were. Harry could tell Hermione was holding her breath. _I wonder how long she can last._

Madame Pomfery walked away, finally giving them a chance to look at Ron.

__

It's not too bad, was Harry's first thought. Sure, there were scars, but madam Pomrey had told those would fade in time. Actually Ron looked…

"Pity you _didn't_ loose the eye. You could have weared a black eyepatch and claimed you were a brave pirate."

Silence.

Then Ron burst out laughing.

"Thanks, mate, but black is really not my colour."

Hermione stepped past Harry's bed quickly and embraced her beloved. 

"You look wonderful, Ron. Even without the eyepatch."

Ron held her tightly, resting his cheek on her head. 

"'Mione…"

Bill put his two knutts in.

"Harry's right, Ron. You look like a pirate. It will make you popular with the girls."

"Better not." Hermione's murmure was barely audible. But it was enough to make Ron smile. 

"You know, Ron," something in Bill's voice made them all look at him.

"If that spell had been a couple of inches left… Damn, little brother, we couldn't have… Not after Charlie and Percy…"

His breath hitched. Moving suddenly he walked to Ron and Hermione, embraced them quickly and stepped away, looking a bit embarrassed.

Maybe he didn't want them to see the wet glint in his eyes.

"Well, I will be going, then."

Madame Pomfrey gathered up her tray and turned to leave.

"Mr.Weasley, you are released from the in firmary, but do not overtax yourself. And do not overtire Mr.Potter, he needs to rest."

She walked out of the door.

It seemed to that Harry her eyes glistened wet, too. But he might have seen wrong. 

For a moment there was silence.

Then Hermione turned her head to Bill and looked at him with a silent question.

Bill nodded, sat down on an empty bed and started to explain.

"Well, we came to see how you were doing. And there's… It's…"

He paused again, searching for words.

"You know that after Charlie died, there was no time – and later too, with all the fighting going on… And as his body was never found, we never actually had a chance to say good bye to him."

There were certainly tears in Bill's eyes now, but Harry didn't care because his own were slowly rolling down over his cheeks. Charlie… 

"There will be a Memorial Service," Hermione explained quietly.

"The day after tomorrow. We came to see if Harry was good enough to come. We knew Ron would get out in time, but we hoped you would wake up too, Harry."

"The time is really tight, with all the burials and memorial services starting soon. I never imagined there would be so _many. _It was the only time we could find."

Bill tried to sound casual but failed. 

Harry doubted anybody who'd taken part in the battle could ever sound casual about that. No matter how much they tried.

"Right, so day after tomorrow, Harry? You have to get up."

Trust Hermione to speak straight to the point.

"I will, Hermione. Don't worry."

Charlie was his brother, too. By choice if not by blood.

They all were his family, and Hermione, and Sirius, and Remus… 

It was strange to have so big family after years of having as good as none.

"I wonder if…" Hermione was looking closely at Ron's scars.

"There was something I read, something about a potion that made scars heal quicker. I think many people will need it now. If I could only remember what potion it was…"

Her face had the look Ron and Harry knew only too well. There would be no way to keep her out of the Libraru now.

"The potion you are looking for is called Parandus potion. You can find it in Ameritia Vesper's "Things every alchemist should know". Feel free to use the stores in the Potion's class. You will find all the indregents there."

The familiar low voice surprised them all. Nobody had noticed the Potions Master entering the infirmary. Then again, Severus _was_ rather good at moving silently if not to say sneaking, Harry mused. Or at stalking.

"Hello, professor Snape."

Harry had to hold back a grin. Ron looked like a first year caught where he shouldn't be. Well, that had been the case in quite many times for them both. 

"Professor Snape."

As Severus answered Bill's greetings with a polite nod, Harry remembered Severus was not that much older than Bill. Had he taught potions to Bill? He'd have to ask later.

"Nice to see you, professor Snape. Thank you for the information. We'll be going now. Come, Ron."

Hermione caught Ron's hand and tragged him out of the infirmary. 

"It's library again, isn't it? I barely get out of the infirmary and you trag me to the library…"

Hermione took no notice in Ron's complains.

"You coming, Bill?"

"Well, good day professor Snape. See you at the service, Harry."

With those words Bill followed Ron and Hermione.

Harry was alone with Severus.

The man seated himself in a chair next to Harry's bed.

Then there was silence.

Not uncomfortable silence, or silence filled with meanings and wordless conversation.

Just silence.

And it felt good.

Finally Harry spoke.

"Thank you."

There was no answer. Harry looked up at his companion. 

"Thank you for not giving up. For saving my life." 

Severus gazed at him intently for some time, then folded back his sleeve and showed Harry his arm. His spotless arm with no Dark Mark marring it anymore.

"No Harry, thank _you._" 

"I guess were even then."

Faint smile played in the corners of Severus' mouth. _So beautiful… _

"If you think so."

They sat together.

"Were you wounded? In the battle, I mean. The guys told me you searched for me and saved me, and I think I remember you giving me potions, and now I'm rambling."

Harry felt the blush creeping up his neck.

"Yes, you are. I was wounded, but nothing too bad. It was just painful."

Severus seemed to be amused for some reason, Harry was sure. He'd learnt to read the man's expressions (or expressionlesses?) by now. Could you imagine, Severus had twelve different types of scowls?

For a moment Harry let himself bask in Severus' amusement, no matter the cause. He'd seen too little of it.

Then he became serious.

"There will be Charlie Weasley's Memorial Service the day after tomorrow. Will you come?"

"I was invited by Molly Weasley. She said that as Charlie's ex-teacher and comrade in arms I was entailed to show up."

His words may have sounded a bit sarcastic, but Harry wasn't decieved. He'd seen Severus mourning for Charlie.

"I guess we can go together, then. Madam Pomfrey will release me for that."

"Madam Pomfrey has no business with releasing you. You are under my surveillance, as I brewed the potions I gave you. But yes, I think you will be fit enough to attend."

Typical Severus.

"Thank you."

Severus looked at him with a slight exasperation and shook his head.

"As I have no confidence in your ability to follow my orders and not to overtax yourself, I will just have to go with you."

Harry hid his smile. Yes, typical Severus.

Then the idea, that had occurred when Bill and Hermione told about the service, came back to him. 

Harry pondered the tought for a moment.

"There will be very many memorial services now, yes?"

Severus nodded slowly.

"The losses were big. On both sides. Charlie's is actually the first one. As the acting Minister of Magic Arthur will be expected to attend many memorial services, so I think he wanted to have the hardest of them done first."

"But what about the Death Eaters? How are they…"

Severus suddenly looked sad and much older than his age. Harry remembered most of his boyhood friends had been among the Death Eaters. And died in the battle.

"There will be services for them, too. Nothing big, and mostly organized by the Ministery. Most of the families have denounced all the ties to Death Eaters. They want to have nothing to do with the bodies as well. Nobody blames them. The Death Eaters were only villains, afer all."

"Could you…" Harry's voice broke. He swallowed and tried again.

"Could you find out for me when those services are held?"

For some time Severus said nothing. Then…

"Why?"

"I want to attend them."

Harry spoke firmly, having made up his mind. He had no intentions to back down. Severus must have sensed it too, because he didn't argue.

"All right, I will go and find out. In meantime get some rest, Harry."

He rose and walked away. At the doorway he paused and looked back at Harry.

"Harry… Why do you want to go? Nobody else…"

Harry looked him in the eye.

"Because somebody has to remember them."

Severus held his gaze for a moment, then nodded swiftly and left. 

Harry lay back on his bed and looked out of the window.

It was a beautiful summer day.

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parandus ( in estonian) – healing (parandus potion - healing potion)


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